Mending Hearts
by batielover
Summary: Sam finds a new ally (and maybe more) in a certain doctor. My take on the Samtrick pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Mending Hearts**

 ** _This is the story I would have written for Patrick and Sam starting 3 years ago! No Silam and no McBam – ever! No Patrina either. Happy reading!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 _ **Thanksgiving Night 2012**_

The stars looked so bright tonight. The weather was cool but not uncomfortably so. Water lapped against the docks beneath her feet, a soft, steady, rhythmic sound in her ears. Lights twinkled brilliantly in the harbor. Life kept moving forward. She wondered how it could though when her own whole world had been shattered; when everything had suddenly stopped making sense.

"No tears, Sam," she whispered to herself as she felt her eyes burn with that familiar sting. "No tears. Not tonight. It's Thanksgiving – time to find something to be grateful for."

She stared at the moonlight playing on the water. "Danny," she said. "He's such a blessing… And Jason… The way he loved me was everything…" She broke off. "Okay, one tear. Just one," she murmured.

One tear soon led to another and before long her shoulders were heaving as she buried her face in her hands.

She didn't notice that she was no longer alone on the pier until she felt a firm, yet somehow also gentle, hand come to rest on her shoulder. She stiffened. Jason, god, she wanted that touch to belong to Jason. If it didn't-

"Sam," a husky voice said, "Are you alright?"

Sam's heart ached as she slowly lifted her teary face to see Patrick Drake standing there. "I'm, well–"

"Who am I kidding?" Patrick muttered. "Of course you're not... I heard about Jason."

Sam sniffled and dashed at a stray tear. "Yeah…"

"For whatever its worth, I am sorry for your loss," Patrick murmured. "I know that's the last thing you want to hear but-"

Sam sighed. "It's – its okay. I appreciate the sentiment."

"Jason and didn't really get along but I wouldn't wish this on him - or you, or really anyone who loved him."

Sam nodded. She crossed her arms. "I just don't know how to keep going ... Or hell, how I'll even survive tonight with Thanksgiving dinner at my Mom's place. I don't know if I can paste on a smile when I feel like this."

"I don't think anyone expects you to be Mrs. Light and Sunshine right now."

"But I need to be strong for Danny. He's had a crap year and then his Dad – his Dad is…" Sam's voice trailed off. "I can't say the word because if I do –"

"It makes it real."

"Yes! And it can't be real," Sam said. "Because I don't feel he's really gone in my heart… I guess I just don't want it to be true." She looked at Patrick. "I am sure that you can relate."

"Yeah."

"Patrick?"

"Hmm?"

"Does the pain… Does it ever stop?"

"I don't know. I am always thinking of Robin, wishing she was here, dreaming that she is... I still need her so damn much…"

Patrick's eyes took on a faraway look for a moment. He then shook his head. "In time though, maybe it will be different… Time heals all wounds, right?"

"You're a doctor, what do you think?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I think that it's just a line. A platitude. Total bull shit. It's been months and I miss Robin more than ever."

"So that's what I have to look forward to – endless misery?"

Patrick sighed softly. "Maybe it will be different for you; I don't know… I just keep getting up every day for Emma. I know that Robin would want me to keep moving, somehow; to take care of our daughter and love her the best that I can."

"Danny is the only thing that keeps me from jumping headfirst off this pier," Sam admitted. "I know that sounds pathetic-"

"It sounds human," Patrick said. "And if I've learned anything this year, it is how human we all are. And boy does that suck."

Sam nodded. "Yes, it does." She looked at her watch. "I should go. I am due at my mom's in five minutes."

Patrick nodded. "Yeah, I'd better get going too. Anna is hosting a little dinner too for Emma and me." He looked at Sam, softness in his eyes. "You don't have to be the life of the party tonight. Just know that. No one expects you to be."

"Good, because I won't be. I can't be," Sam said. She slowly got to her feet. Her whole body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and it took all of her strength just to stand. Everything was such an effort now – absolutely everything.

She looked at Patrick. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For not acting like you think I'm pathetic."

"Hey, if you're pathetic, then so am I."

Sam shrugged. "Take care, Patrick."

"You too, Sam," he said.

They looked at each other a bit awkwardly and then started in their opposite directions.

They would see each other again very soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 _ **November 26th, 2012**_

Sam sat in the penthouse, bundled up in a blanket, holding her infant son against her chest as he slumbered, thumb planted firmly in his cheek. She smiled as she traced the curve of his lips. He was so beautiful and he looked just like Jason in every way; heck, he even _snored_ like him. How could she, even for a moment, have believed that he belonged to anyone but her husband?

She rested her cool cheek gently against his soft little bald head. "I love you, Daniel Edward Morgan. I always will. I couldn't protect your daddy, I couldn't save him, but I will always be there for you, I swear it. You're mine and I'm yours. You and Jason are my greatest loves. Please never forget that."

The baby briefly opened his eyes and gazed at Sam, as if in understanding. Then his eyelids slipped closed again and he returned to snoozing contentedly. A little smile played at his lips and she wondered what he was dreaming of, if he was. Did he ever think of Jason? Did he remember the man who had saved him on that rooftop? Sam vowed then and there she would make damn well sure that he knew about his father; that a day wouldn't go by that she didn't tell him how much Jason had loved him and longed for him, even while never knowing Danny was actually his.

Sam dashed at a tear that fell down her cheek. "One tear," she said. "Just one and no more," she promised herself.

"Okay, that's better," she whispered hoarsely and squeezed her eyelids shut tight so another tear could not escape.

The phone suddenly rang and she instinctively looked at the clock. It was nearing midnight. Who could be calling at this hour?

"Jason?" She said. "Could it really be you?" Was he calling to say that he was alive and that he needed her, or that he was coming home – something she kept dreaming about? Her heart surged with hope as she gently placed Danny in his playpen and scrambled for the phone on the desk.

Her voice came out sounding breathless. "Hello?" She said. "Who is this?" _Please be Jason, please be my husband! I will do anything, anything at all to hear his voice right now._

Her heart shattered anew as she heard an entirely female and accented voice say her name. "Sam, hello, it's Anna Devane."

"Anna," Sam said, closing her eyes tightly, not allowing herself to give into a new round of tears. "What's going on?"

"Sam, can you come by the station in the morning?" Anna asked. "I'd like to share some news that I just learned." She sounded tired and weary. "Or I could come by your place if that's better."

"What is it – what do you have to tell me?" Sam asked. "Is it about my husband – have you found Jason?" _Or his body,_ Sam thought and quickly chased away the horrible thought.

"It's in regards to Jason, yes," Anna said solemnly. "But I'd really rather not – Well, this isn't the kind of news one should get over the telephone."

"Anna, please. Just tell me whatever it is. I need to know. If it's about Jason, I can't wait until morning."

"Alright, Sam," Anna said with a soft sigh."We finally got a hold of a copy of the surveillance footage taken on that night on the docks – the night -"

"Jason was shot," Sam said in a whisper.

"Yes. We know who did it – who took the lives of Bernie and Jason."

Sam so desperately wanted to scream that Jason wasn't dead; that he couldn't be, but she was losing hope. She just remained mum for a long moment.

"Sam, are you still there?"

"Y-yes, I'm here. Who was it? Who hurt my husband?" Sam asked. It seemed the possibilities were endless but Sam was still rocked by Anna's answer.

"It was –" Anna took a long, shuddery breath –"Duke Lavery."

 _"_ _What?"_ Sam shouted but quickly softened her voice when she spotted Danny stirring in his crib. "Anna, Duke – as in Duke Lavery … your -"

"Former husband, yes," Anna said. "The footage doesn't lie and when I went to see Duke tonight, before the surveillance video landed in my hands, it seemed that he had picked up his belongings and ran for the hills. He's on the lamb now but I assure you that we're doing everything to find him."

"Anna, why would he do something like this?"

"I honestly don't know, Sam. I wish I did because the Duke Lavery I knew, he wasn't capable of something this horrible, this disgusting. Not at all." Anna cleared her throat. "I am sorry I had to tell you this, to break the news to you this way, but I also know that you deserve answers."

"I'm sorry too, Anna."

"What for?"

"Because you lost someone you loved tonight too. Maybe he's not gone in the physical sense but-"

"You're right," Anna said. "But I can't dwell on it. Not now. I won't. My mind is focused on one goal and one goal only - finding that bastard and bringing him to justice."

"Thank you," Sam said. "Honestly, you had better hope you find him first. If I do-"

"Sam, don't do anything rash," Anna cautioned. "Let the PCPD handle this. Let me find the monster, lock him up and throw away the key. I know that it won't bring your husband back but perhaps, somehow, you will gain a little peace of mind."

Sam sighed. She doubted that that would ever happen – that there would come a day when she wasn't haunted by the loss of the love of her life.

"Thanks, Anna," she said simply.

"You're welcome… Take care of yourself, Sam."

"You too," Sam said. She replaced the receiver and immediately moved back to the playpen. She dropped to her knees in front of it, unable to hold herself upright any longer. A silent tear fell and then still another. She had broken her promise to herself not to cry; the same as Jason had broken his promise to always return to her.

XoXoxo

Morning arrived to find Sam slumped on the floor beside Danny's playpen. She had fallen asleep somewhere during the course of the night. She only stirred when she heard Danny's plaintive cries.

She immediately pulled herself up and leaned over the crib. "It's okay, baby," she said, rubbing his little tummy. "It's okay. I know you're hungry and probably need a diaper change. We'll do it right now, okay?"

She lifted him out of the crib and immediately some of his fussiness faded away as she tucked him against her hip. She walked to the changing table and went about doing away with his soiled diaper. She cleaned him and then placed him in his playpen once more as she went to prepare his bottle. She prayed that she wouldn't burn the formula. She had a way of doing that though she hoped that she was getting better at this Mom thing. Jason would have needled her about it and she would have laughed with him over the whole thing…

Her bones felt as if they weighed a hundred pounds each as she struggled forward. She reached the kitchen where she heated the bottle and proceeded to test the temperature on her wrist. It was just right. _"Good job, Sam,"_ she imagined Jason saying to her. She longed to hear his voice again, fearing that it was impossible that she ever would again.

She padded back to the living room and picked up Danny. Cradling him to her ample chest, she rocked him gently as she placed the nipple between his lips. He began to suckle greedily on his bottle and she smiled. "You've got my big appetite and your daddy's everything else," she said quietly.

She had just finished feeding Danny and dressing him in a little blue jumper when the doorbell rang. She immediately perked up. _Jason!_ Was her first thought. _Jason's home!_

She instantly chastised herself though. Jason wouldn't ring the doorbell. He would just come inside. She sighed and slowly moved to the door. She took a deep breath before opening it.

She was surprised to see Patrick Drake and his beautiful little girl, Emma, standing there. Emma had a pink bakery box in her tiny hands and she immediately proffered it to Sam. "What's this for?" Sam asked, genuinely surprised by the gift.

"I heard about your husband Jason," Emma said in a voice that was mature beyond her years. "I thought you might like some cookies. Sometimes they make me feel better."

Sam looked at Patrick curiously and then back at Emma. "That's so sweet, Miss Emma," she said, truly touched by the gesture. "I do love cookies."

"Me too," Emma said. "Do you like ones with chocolate chips?"

"Yes, they're my favorite."

Emma looked up at her father. "See, Daddy?" She said. She turned back to Sam. "He thought you would like snicker doodles, but I knew better."

Sam smiled. "Well I would have loved anything because I can see that it came from the heart." She bent down to Emma's level. "Why don't you two come inside and share some with me?"

"Yes!" Emma said enthusiastically.

"Emma, we don't want to intrude –" Patrick started but Sam held up a hand.

"You're not intruding; I am insisting." Sam gestured for them to come inside and they did.

"Mrs. Morgan," Emma said, causing Sam's stomach to clench upon hearing her married name, "Is that your baby?"

"Please call me Sam," she said softly. "And yes, that big boy is all mine."

Emma grinned as she peered over the rim of the playpen. Danny was busily sucking on his thumb. "He's so cute! I always wanted a baby brother," she said. She dropped her eyes for a moment and Sam guessed that she was thinking that she would never have one now.

"Well anytime you want to come over and see Danny, you can."

"Really?" Emma clapped her hands in excitement.

"Really," Sam replied. "Let me grab us some plates and glasses of milk and we can eat some cookies… Then if you'd like, you can hold Danny."

"You mean that?" Emma asked with wide eyes.

"I do," Sam said. She then turned on her heel and started into the kitchen.

She opened the cupboard only to discover that the dessert plates were stacked on the very top shelf. She sighed and swung herself up onto the countertop. She reached for the stack of plates and was about to hop down when she spotted Patrick peeking through the door.

"Need some help?" He asked.

Sam offered him a little smile. "Depends. Can you pour milk without spilling it?"

"I can try," Patrick said with a smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I would ask if you need help down from there, but something tells me you've got it handled."

"I have to try to be independent," Sam said as she easily hopped to her feet. "Danny needs me to be strong."

"I think you are," Patrick offered.

Sam shrugged. "I'm trying but there are moments when I feel the exact opposite." She shook her head. "Anyway, right there is the fridge and in the dish rack beside it are some clean mugs."

She went about setting out the cookies as Patrick carefully filled three glasses with cold milk. No words were exchanged until their respective tasks were completed. Then Sam turned to look at Patrick.

"How did Emma find out about Jason?"

"Unfortunately, there was a newsbreak about it this morning during her favorite cartoon."

"Oh that's terrible. She shouldn't have to see something like that."

"Tell me about it." Patrick shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "They say Duke Lavery is responsible, is that true?"

Sam sighed. "Apparently so."

"To think I let him around my kid…" Patrick sighed too. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't say stupid things like that."

"It's okay."

"Emma saw the news and immediately wanted to do something for you and Danny. Bringing you cookies were her idea. The whole thing was her idea actually."

"It's so thoughtful of her."

"She's all Robin. That's something Robin would think to do that I never would."

"Come on, Patrick, don't sell yourself short. You're raising a little girl all by yourself and doing a good job from what I can tell."

"Thanks… You're doing great with Danny," Patrick said. "He seems really happy."

"I hope he is," Sam murmured. "That's all I can ask for."

She and Patrick emerged from the kitchen then, falling into step as they moved back towards the kids.

They would all spend the rest of the morning sharing cookies and quiet conversation. Sam realized somewhere along the way that she had _two_ new friends to call her own.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _ **December 12**_ _ **th**_ _ **, 2012**_

Emma had a decidedly intense look of concentration on her adorable face as she studied the game board before her. She was jiggling her tiles in her hands. "Hmmm…" She mused.

Patrick looked at his daughter. "Do you need help, honey?"

Emma shook her head. "No, Daddy, I can do this. If you help me, then it doesn't count."

Patrick smiled. "Sure it does. Right, Sam?"

Sam was sitting opposite Patrick and Emma, juggling Danny on her lap as he nibbled furiously on a ring of plastic keys from Fisher Price. She hadn't realized that she had been zoning out until Patrick addressed her. "Uh, yeah, what your Daddy said," Sam rushed to say.

Patrick looked at her with concern evident in his eyes _. "Are you okay?"_ He mouthed to her. She nodded quickly, mouthing back that she was fine. She didn't want to let on that she really wasn't in the mood for Scrabble Junior, even though she suspected Patrick knew it. She'd invited them here as a thank you for the way they had stepped up to befriend her and Danny in the last few weeks. Few days went by when she didn't get a phone call or visit from them.

 _Sam should really pay attention to the game._

Patrick looked back at Emma. "Sure you don't want help? It doesn't hurt to ask for help, you know. It doesn't mean you're not strong or not smart." Why did Sam feel like he was talking to her and not just to Emma right then?

Emma shook her head. "I think I have it," she said. Nibbling her pink bottom lip, she placed her two tiles next to the word FRIEND. It now spelled out FRIENDLY. Emma looked at her dad and Sam triumphantly. "How many tokens do I get?"

Sam smiled softly. "I don't know … Maybe all of them?" Emma giggled.

Patrick smiled too. "Hmm 'friendly'… I'd say you got lucky with that one," he teased as he opened the bag with the tokens. "Hold out your hand, Em." Emma did so eagerly and then laughed wildly as Patrick poured the remaining contents of the bag into her tiny palms. There were so many plastic tokens that her cupped hands couldn't hold them all and some hit the floor.

Sam smiled a bit wider. "Well I'd say you won, Emma," she said. "Great job."

"Thanks, Sam," Emma said.

"You're welcome. You're way too smart for me and your dad here."

Patrick chuckled. "Hey, now. I am a brilliant brain surgeon remember?"

"Don't brag, Daddy," Emma said with a shake of her pretty head.

"Never."

Sam looked between father and daughter and then squarely at Emma. "What do you say to having some chocolate cake?"

" _Really?"_

"Yes. If it's okay with your dad anyway. I picked one up from the corner bakery just for tonight."

"Wow, cool, thanks, Sam!" Emma enthused. She looked at Patrick. "Daddy, can I have some chocolate cake?"

"On one condition."

"What?"

"You have to help me clean up the board game," Patrick said.

Sam quickly held up a hand. "No, you guys, don't even worry about that. I can do it."

"I insist," Patrick said.

Sam knew that she wouldn't be able to change his mind so she nodded. "Alright. While you two are doing that, I'll serve up the cake."

"Okay," Emma said wistfully and then dove for the game pieces on the floor. Patrick started dumping the tiles back into the box. Sam stood and moved over to the playpen, gently settling Danny inside of it beside his favorite stuffed bunny rabbit.

Sam went into the kitchen and pulled the pink bakery box down from off the top of the microwave. She immediately went to work slicing the cake and putting it onto plates. She then took down three glasses and started filling them with milk.

She looked up as Patrick walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Sam, do you need help?" He asked.

"No, it's okay. I think I've got it. Thanks though."

"Is everything alright, Sam?" Patrick asked. "You seem… I don't know. Far away."

"More than usual, you mean," Sam murmured. She set down the milk jug and splayed her hands on the countertop. "I saw AJ again today. I went to the Quartermaine mansion to let Danny visit with his grandmother and … AJ was there."

"Did he say or do something to upset you?"

Sam shook her head. "No, not exactly. We actually had a nice, civil talk… It's just… he reminds me of Jason sometimes. They look so much alike, you know. It actually hurts me to look at AJ and God help me, I wish Jason had returned instead of him." Sam sighed. "Dumb, right? Selfish. I should just be glad Monica got her miracle. She's lost far too much."

"It's not dumb and it's not selfish. Not in my book anyway. I would probably feel the same way if I was in your shoes. Hell I _know_ I would. I miss Robin all the time and I think… There's nothing I wouldn't do to have her back. I'd sell my soul to the devil just to see her one more time."

"You get it…"

"I think I do."

"I keep waiting for my miracle; I keep waiting for Jason to walk in the door, alive and well and ready to start our lives together with our son. But what if – what if that never happens? What if everyone is right – what if he's not coming back?"

"Sam, I-" Patrick started but Emma was running through the kitchen door, interrupting whatever he had been about to say.

"Is it cake time yet?" Emma asked, bouncing excitedly on the soles of her tiny feet.

"Em," Patrick said. "Sam and I need a moment okay?"

"No, no, it's fine. Let's just eat our cake," Sam said hurriedly and then thrust a plate in Emma's hand. She felt Patrick watching her with concern but she told herself that there were some things better left unsaid.

XoXoxo

 _ **December 15**_ _ **th**_ _ **, 2012**_

The hospital was all decked out for the coming holiday. As they sat in the waiting room, Sam's thoughts were a million miles away. Danny, meanwhile, was awake and alert, stretching his chubby fingers out in an attempt to grab for the lights on the tree behind them. A couple of times he got very close but Sam shifted away, not wanting the whole thing to topple on him. But Danny was determined; she thought that he got that stubborn will from both of his parents.

For example, there Sam was, determined not to cry seeing all of the Christmassy splendor, and so far she was managing it, but barely. The thought of spending the holiday without Jason was eating her up inside. She hadn't even put up a tree yet. He'd been gone almost two months. Every moment that passed, she lost a little more hope. What if everyone was right and he was never coming home?

She shook her head. No, he was coming home _. Have faith, Sam, have faith._ But honestly she didn't know how much more of this she could possibly take. She was trying to hold it together for Danny, trying to be strong for him, but there were days she nearly collapsed under the weight of her worry and grief.

" _Sam?"_ A now very familiar voice called her name. She looked up to see Patrick approaching. He was wearing a white lab coat and holding a chart under his arm.

She offered him her best attempt at a smile – it was weak but at least she tried. "Hi, Patrick," she greeted him as he came to stand in front of her and Danny.

"Hi there. What are you doing here? Is Danny-"

"Ill? No. I just brought him in for his routine checkup."

"Good," he said. "I was worried for a moment when I saw you sitting there."

"Danny's fine; I'm – I'm dealing. I have no choice, right?" She shrugged. "How's Emma?"

"Good, looking forward to another game night soon," Patrick said. "She loved playing Scrabble Junior with you the other night."

Sam nodded. "I had fun too. Thanks for bringing her by. Both of you have been so amazing to Danny and me through all of this."

"You're our friend, of course, we want to be there for you. We've been exactly where you are and don't want you to be alone during this difficult time."

"I appreciate that," Sam said, "but it's not the same circumstances exactly. I mean, I know Jason's coming back. He has to." She sounded so delusional, she knew it, but Patrick had the grace not to show how crazy he must have thought that she was.

"I hope you get your miracle," Patrick said, sincerity thick in his voice.

"Me too," Sam whispered. She looked at her watch. She still had ten minutes until Danny's appointment began and she really needed a moment to herself. She looked up at Patrick. "I really hate to ask, especially since you're on duty, but could you watch Danny for a minute? I just – I need to throw some water on my face."

"Sure, I can do that," Patrick said. Sam stood and gingerly passed her cooing son to Patrick. Patrick tugged Danny against his hip, lightly tracing the curve of the baby's cheek with his fingers. "You are getting so big, Danny, you know that."

"Thanks, Patrick," Sam said. She worried her lip between her teeth as she struggled not to come undone. Every day things seemed to get harder, rather than easier. Her heart literally felt like it was about to shatter in two.

She reached the bathroom and allowed the door to slam closed after her. Looking around, she saw that she was alone; there were no feet showing under any of the stalls. She felt a tear run down her cheek. She hugged herself as she paced the length of the restroom floor, back and forth, back and forth.

She looked at her watch and realized that she had only two minutes left to go before Danny's appointment. She swung around to look at herself in the mirror. Her face was pale and drawn, there were dark circles around her eyes and her skin was mottled with fresh tears. She looked like hell. She _felt_ like hell. All she wanted to do was go back to the penthouse and sleep this off but knew she couldn't. Danny needed his checkup and it wasn't like she got any sleep now anyway. She lay awake every night listening for Jason, hoping to hear a key in the lock and the doorknob turning and the sound of footsteps cresting across thick carpeting.

Yet it never happened.

Maybe he really was not coming back.

The thought made her physically ill but she swallowed down the urge to vomit violently.

She dabbed her face with a paper towel, trying to scrub away some of the vestiges of her tears, and then crumpling the paper towel up, she tossed it into the trash bin before slipping back out the door.

She walked down the long hall slowly, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

She was almost to Patrick and Danny when she heard the elevator to her left ding, announcing the arrival of someone or maybe even multiple someones.

She started to turn away when from the periphery of her vision, she saw the last person she had ever expected to see again step off the elevator.

 _Duke Lavery._

He was with Anna, a long blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He looked tired and ill. Anna was guiding him forward.

Sam paused in her tracks for a moment – so many emotions coursing through her but the predominant emotion fighting its way to the surface was _hatred._ Overwhelming hatred and the intense desire to inflict on Duke the pain he had inflicted on her. He had stolen Jason from her that night on the pier; he had stolen Danny's father.

 _Duke had to pay._

 **Thank you all for the feedback so far. I hope you enjoyed this update. Please remember that feedback is love!**


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